Breaking the Fourth Wall

FACT!: Breaking the fourth wall occurs when a writer talks directly to the audience, dear blog reader.  There is no actual wall.  It is imaginary.  However in plays it still manages to box actors in and stop them from panicking and telling everyone about the uneasy feeling they have that everyone around them is being watched.

Breaking the fourth wall is a stylistic choice that a writer makes.  It is not always a good thing to do, but sometimes it works well.

The audience may feel more like part of the story if the narrator chooses to include them, and this is generally a very good thing.  However, the audience, being the smart throbbing mass that it is will undoubtedly have some people who want to be involved in the show less than others.  These people do not want to be addressed.  Furthermore, because the audience is often a smart throbbing mass, when given the responsibility of being a part of the story, they may assume a character of their very own and lose themselves in the process.

THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words inform your audience about a traumatizing ordeal.

Flash Fiction!

FACT!: Flash fiction is fiction that is very short.  Sometimes only five words long.

One of the first credited pieces of flash fiction read "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn."

Flash fiction is meant to be read quickly, and is often given a word limit.

This word limit is often 55.

It can also be 300.

THE CHALLENGE!: Write a 55 word story that includes the words "shoes" and "peanut butter"

Setting

FACT!: In writing, setting really does count.  A romance set in an abandoned mine shaft will play out very differently than a romance set in a secret dimension inside your closet.

Setting is important, because not only does it allow the reader the opportunity to escape into a different universe and leave their own current problems, but it helps strengthen the imagery and provide insight into the character.  Where a person is tends to effect who a person becomes.  Setting plays a very large role in this.  Setting determines culture, and history, and the customs and traditions within your story.  It also tends to play a role in the general plot.

There are a few books out there that do not have a setting.  This is not a good idea.  It's an extremely pretentious move and takes away from any reader's capacity to escape into a new world.  No one remembers what books they are, because no one has ever actually read more than the first five pages besides the creator.

THE CHALLENGE!:  Write a 350 word scene without any setting.

Writing the Unfamiliar.

FACT!: There is a popular phrase that goes "Write what you know." Any writer will encounter it in their career. It's an utterly loathsome phrase in the industry that, as many bilinguals will tell you, actually translates to "Nah, nah, nah nah nah nah" in certain cultures.

A writer walks into a frozen yogurt place and tells the cashier while they are picking out only red sprinkles shaped like dinosaurs to go on half a pina colada and half a New York cheesecake fat free, that they intend to write a book set in Ireland about serial killers and a magic rabbit. The cashier says "Oh. Have you been to Ireland?" because they're old and don't know that cashiers at frozen yogurt places haven't engaged in meaningful conversation with their consumers since '18. The writer says "No. Never." The cashier asks "What about serial killers?" "I met a Canadian once," says the writer. "And magic rabbits?" "My friend housetrained his."

This scenario would immediately illicit a "Write what you know" response, but this presents a problem, because then the writer wouldn't be writing a great tale of Ireland, serial killers, and magic rabbits, they would be writing a mediocre tale about Nome, Canadians, and a house bunny that was actually a bunny living in a house. This might impress a few high school English teachers so long as the Canadians became a metaphor for our own caged souls, but in the soft fantasy market this won't go far.

The problem may be solved by actually journeying to Ireland to go hunting rabbits and then to visit a penitentiary. This will make your writing much more real, though it will also let a serial killer know you are alive, which is rarely a good idea. 

The problem may also be solved by reading extensively on the subject. This is second hand, but for genre fiction it can work very well.

The easiest way, however, is to make it into something that you know through excessive exaggeration.

For example: I may not know a serial killer, but I know people who get a sadistic pleasure out of going to the front of lines despite belonging in the back, thereby murdering the person behind them's chance at going on California Adventures before it closes.

By exaggerating emotions and blowing things out of context, one finds that they've experienced pretty much everything first hand when they really think about it.

THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words write about something you've never seen happening in a place you've never been.

Killing Off Your Darlings

FACT!: When writing there will be inevitably a time when you must kill off one of your darlings. This should hopefully only happen during writing. If you are contemplating killing off one of your real life darlings, there are a few very good therapists in your area that you might want to consult.

In any case, killing off a darling is one of the hardest parts of writing, simply because that darling is called a darling for a reason. By snipping out that character, or that scene, or that funny joke about skiing or Death Valley, we are losing a loved one. The writing will inevitably become better, because there is always a motive when it comes to killing a darling. Maybe the line has no place, or the character doesn't accomplish much, or that setting is physically and mentally impossible. But this can still be a hard thing to take.

The simplest solution is to go the Mark Twain route and have them jump into a well.  As long as your story isn't about Lassie, your darling is as good as dead.  However, this is too hard for many writers.  In this case, it can help to create a graveyard document where all of your darlings may be buried alive, and then pulled out later to be relocated somewhere they can live without fear of assassination.

THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words or less, kill a darling. Don't use a well.

Mary Sue/Gary Stue

FACT!: A Mary Sue/Gary Stu is a character that often shows up in literature and does very bad things to everyone involved in the reading process.  Mary Sue/Gary Stu isn't their name, it's their identity.

You can tell you are reading a Mary Sue/Gary Stu character when you come across someone who is beautiful, unique, powerful, immensely talented, loved by everyone, and has a tragic past.  Her/His faults are minuscule, if she/he has them, and no one really cares about them anyway because the person is so great.

This is bad for literature because Mary and Gary hurt the hearts of the people. They can't relate to anyone. No one in the world is actually like that.  We all kind of wish we were like that sometimes, but no one actually is, and when we come across that character, we know that we are being lied to.

Most writers tend to accidentally write them anyway, because the Mary Sue is often the person they long to be.

However, if this is you, there is help:  http://www.springhole.net/quizzes/marysue.htm

THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words describe the perfect teenager.  Bonus points to whoever can use the word "effulgent" the most amount of times without growing redundant

Irony

Fact: Good stories always include irony.

Irony is where the fates decide to be cruel and rub some sort of fact into a characters face that makes them want to stab their eyes out like Oedipus.

There are many examples of this.  For example, in Jurassic Park 3 (Not a good movie) when Alan Grant finally gets a hold of a phone and calls the states, the little boy that answers it is too busy watching Barney to really help them.  Barney is a dinosaur.  They are about to be eaten by dinosaurs.  That's irony.

People are drawn to irony because they sense that they actually spend most of their lives doing something ironic themselves.  Reading books with irony, when one oneself is struggling with irony is ironic.  Irony gives stories a sense of realism.  It also allows people to scream "Oh the irony!" Which is ironic

THE CHALLENGE!:  In 300 words or less, write about an occurrence during your day.  Then make this scene as ironic as possible.

Suspense

FACT: Suspense is the opposite of mystery.  Suspense means the audience knows everything, but the characters do not.  Alfred Hitchcock is the master of this.  He gave this really awesome quote once that explained suspense quite well and had to do with bombs under the table. 

In a mystery, we don't know who the killer is, however we do know that the detective will actually catch him.  In a suspenseful piece we not only know exactly who the killer is, we also know his hopes, his dreams, his shoe size, and where his mother went wrong.  We also know that the main character is about to open the shaft door where the killer is patiently waiting with a laser gun.  What we don't know is whether this killer is going to get away with his murderous intentions or if the hero happens to be wearing a disintegration proof suit.


THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words or less write a mystery scene involving Jessica Marble, Sherlock Holmes, or the Energizer Bunny.  Then in another 300 words or less, change that scene into a suspense piece.

Mystery

FACT: Mystery is not just a genre. It isn't just a series of books where charming British men deduce that finding murderers really is the best way to get the attention of a girl. Mystery is everything. Mystery slinks its way into every story. What will happen next? Whose line is it anyway? Who's on first? How on earth did that man manage to kill someone with a cannoli? How on earth did that man manage to kill someone with a cannoli, and then eat the cannoli?

When presented with a good story, a reader will develop all sorts of questions along these lines and more. It's this kind of mystery, the hooks, the turns, the tension that causes them to read on, not knowing that they are reading something mysterious and being completely jipped when it comes to charming British men.

Mystery is a hard thing utilize properly. There is a saying that says that every writer has all the cards, but only good writers know when to play them. If the public is aware about the shocking truth about the origin of the mutant lobster in the first act there will be no moment of horrifying recollection in the second act. Mastering the balance is one of the greatest difficulties of the craft.

THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words or less write......????

Make Your Readers Cry

ABOUT!:

 Fact: Writers are sadists who like to make people cry about things that never even really happened.

They have many tricks. One of the trickiest is dogs. I read a book about a dog once. Two hours later. BAM! That dog was dead. I then read another book about a dog. Two hours later. BAM! That dog was dead. Then I watched a movie about a dog. BAM! It died. To top it all off there is even a movie called “All Dogs Go To Heaven,” which could be the tale of a deranged puppy killer, or a heartfelt children's cartoon depending on which critic you ask.You know who writes movies? Writers. Writers who may or may not be cats. I call this the Dead Dog Conspiracy. There was an entire book about it called No More Dead Dogs. The dog does not die in this book because it was never even alive. Instead it was burned in effigy. What does that tell you?

If dogs aren't available, use a child. Children are sometimes even more effective, especially if they have curls, or big bambi eyes. Death in general tends to work well. I once read a book where a there was a character. He died. I do not remember how or why, but it all made me very sad. Sickness or physical malady works well too, so does making your characters want to cry, if they're likeable. Sometimes writers even combine crying attributes to gain an even bigger cry, like Charles Dickens did with Tiny Tim. Tiny Tim is tiny, crippled, and dies. There is a lot that can be learned from that example.

THE CHALLENGE!: In 300 words or less, write the saddest scene that you possibly can about a dalmatian and his best friend the wily elephant.

Creating Unsympathetic Characters

Creating unsympathetic characters are much easier than creating sympathetic ones.  The key is to give great things to people who really don't deserve them, and make the people who have them think that they really do.  Giving them two loving parents, and making them spoiled or a jerk is a good start.  Dudley Dursley is a great example of this.  If his mother was dead, no one would think the pig tail incident was funny, but because she's alive, it becomes comedic.

You can also make them rich, a businessman, a car salesman, or all three.  Dialogue is very important when creating unsympathetic characters.  If you end every one of their sentences with 'hon' and don't make them twisted in some way it won't work as well as if you end every one of their sentences with 'four eyes.'

If this way does not work for your story, like if you happen to be writing about the world where everyone's mother is dead, and most people are mimes, then the easiest way to make a character unsympathetic in this scenario is to have them kick a cat.  This doesn't go along with the giving them things they don't deserve angle, but it's still highly effective.

How do you make your character's unsympathetic?

Creating Sympathetic Characters

To create a sympathetic character, the key is to kill someone very close to them.  Preferably their mom.  But only if they liked her.  No one likes a character who hates their mother.  Stepmother, yes. Robot nanny, definitely. But if your character hates their mother, reference creating unsympathetic characters.  Even in Throw Mama from the Train, her son only sort of kind of hated her, and that made the movie acceptable.

Anyway, killing the mother or someone else really close, preferably when your character is very young is a good way to make a character more sympathetic. Physical attributes can also become sympathetic. For example, a girl with beautiful brown eyes, but a nose that is rather on the large side is much more sympathetic than her steely blue eyed perfect cheerleading counterpart.  Never use the word perfect, if you want your reader to find a character sympathetic. 

It's also important, if you have more than one sympathetic character to mix up the attributes that make them sympathetic.  You can kill one character's mother, but you can't kill every character's mother.  Unless you're writing a book about a world where everyone's mother has been killed, but then you'd need something even more sympathetic to differentiate your characters from the rest of the world, like that they have a blind father who they make soup for every day, from various wilderness shrubs.

How do you make sympathetic characters?

Characters vs Plot

Characters are the most important part of writing if you happen to be writing either the Chinese language, or a novel.  If you are writing the Chinese language, the first sentence is really the only helpful one in this post, and you can go back to your Sobe and Orville Redenbacher now.  If you are writing a novel, you should note that while it is never disputed that characters are the most important part of writing Chinese, it is sometimes disputed that they are the most important part of writing a novel.  However, this blog does not support those people.

The characters are who the story is about.  They are the human faces that give the story a voice.  You can have a fantastic plot, a beautiful setting, or any other perfect written element within your work, but if your characters are no good, the story will fall flat.  If the reader cannot care about your character, they cannot care about your plot.  Whereas if the reader cares enough about your character, your plot becomes more forgiveable.

The Catcher and Rye is a great example of this.  The plot is completely nonexistent.  Everyone who studies that book knows that.  However, Holden Caulfield is so interesting that no one who likes the book cares. The people who hate the book are the first to derail the plot, but you'll notice that if you really talk to them, the reason they don't like the book is because they didn't like the character.

A counter example is Heroes.  Heroes had a great plot.  In Season 1.  The dialogue was always a bit generic, but overall the first season was very well written.  The characters however, were not really strong enough to carry the series past one season.  Which I think is why everything fell apart in season 2.

Does anyone else have examples/ arguments?

Past Tense

Past tense is the standard when it comes to writing stories.  There are a few novels in present tense, like the last post talked about, and there are a few stories out there written in 2nd tense.  You read those.  They make you sad. It's okay, they make me sad too. But overall, past is the norm, and it's the one that I prefer to read, personally.

Past tense has a nice fulfilled feeling about it.  It's already happened. It's over now.  The story does have an end, and you will be able to hear it eventually.  There's something very comforting about that.

Not that past tense has no faults.  There is a loss in immediacy.  Present tense is immediate.  Past tense was immediate once, but isn't anymore.  And past tense will never be as close as You are in second tense.  Overall they all have their weaknesses and strengths and it depends on the story.

Sometimes it is fun to try and experiment.  In a writing group we once tried to write in the different tenses, and I wrote about a hawk, I think.  The hawk was really the coolest part of the exercise.  The rest might even be a false memory, but what I learned is that tense really does make a difference, and one of the most important things is to make sure to stick with it.

There is a lot of fanfiction that deviates or switches between tenses, and it's really not a good idea.  Tenses, like wives, require commitment.  The second you leave a tense for another tense, the abandoned tense takes everything you own, and then goes and talks to everyone who encounters you and the other tense, and tells them what a fool you were to give up a tense like that was, for a tense like this is.  It's just not a good situation for anyone.  While past tense is my preferred tense, I would much rather read a book that is written in present or second tense than a book that is mostly in the past, but partly in the present, and sort of in the future.  That only works for Lost, and only because Matthew Fox once likened surgery to pasta, which makes most things forgiveable.

Present Tense

Present tense is not my favorite.  I rarely read whole stories or novels in present tense.  Sometimes I check a book out, and read only one page for that very reason.  It's not necessarily that I find present tense jarring.  Some people do.  That isn't the issue for me.

The issue for me is that present tense makes things sound profound that aren't profound. "The day the birds flew, and the ants died, the milk went on sale for fifty seven cents" draws attention to the plot, and not the sentence itself.  You know that in this story, the sale of the milk is a part of the story and probably has something to do with the birds, and possibly that whole 'pessimistic' optimistic' metaphor thing if you're reading behind the lines.

"The birds fly, and ants die, and the milk goes on sale for fifty seven cents" however makes the whole thing feel like it isn't just a part of the story, it's a part of everything. Everywhere.  All of the time.  It's immediate. A present issue. And it feels like this is something you should ponder, even though the only thing worth pondering in the sentence is why on earth milk doesn't ever go on sale for fifty seven cents in real life, and Aw man why do prices have to inflate so much all of the time?

In my opinion all of this is cheating, because it's making things sound literary that aren't really literary, instead of well, just writing literature.

There are a few books that are highly successful in the present tense.  The first is the Hunger Games, the second is that one book...not quite sure what it's called, because I don't typically read the present tense, but I'm sure someone dies and someone cries, and at least three people need a shrink of some sort, something touching like that.  But in both cases, present tense works very well.  I think. I haven't read either of them, because they are in present tense, but there are those who have no problem with the tense who have told me they are both quite good.  Except the second one.

What is your opinion on present tense?

Fulfilling Promises To Your Readers

There were once two mysterious orphans with secrets who wanted to discover the truth about their respective parents tragic murders. One day while on a field trip in the Amazon rain forest, the mysterious orphans with secrets were separated from the indigenous tribesmen and found a peculiar document. Written by Alfred Sumptor PHD, an eccentric scientist, the document detailed his hypothesis that flamingos were actually of Martian origin. His research led him to a plethora of evidence on each side of the argument, and was very detailed. Unfortunately the very end of the last page had been torn off, so the mysterious orphans with secrets were left wondering if Dr. Sumptor had ever found the conclusion.

Because flamingo tracks had been found at the death sites of both of their parents, the mysterious orphans with secrets decided to track down Dr. Sumptor and discover the truth, so they stowed away on the yacht of a rich car salesman and sailed to Africa. He wasn't there. Next they tried Somalia, and fought a giant lecherous wombat. Finally after searching for approximately three months, they found him somehow. 

Once the mysterious orphans with secrets had battled a host of bad stuff they made it to his secret something, and asked "Are flamingos from Mars?" The scientist smiled as if some weight had been lifted off of his conscience, "I have no idea" he said. The mysterious orphans with secrets gave up, went home and opened a highly successful cheese shop.  One died when they were 54 in a tragic cupcake accident. The other lived to be 74 before choking on a marble. The End.

Discovery Writing.

Discovery writers go straight to the blank page, no outline, very little or no plan, and pound out their work with the spontaneity of the Red West African Bull Finch.  They figure out their characters, settings, and conflicts as they type. As a result sometimes random things happen or appear in the first draft that really don't belong. Asparagus.

One of the most famous discovery writers is Steven King, which is why his mind is probably more frightening than any of the places that the Ghost Hunters have ever visited, including that Winchester place with all those windows and doors.

Discovery writing has definite perks.  For example, if you are a discovery writer, you probably skipped the very first post.  Discovery writers often discover things that an outliner might miss, and they often find it easier to adapt to sudden problems uncovered in the draft.

The problem with discovery writing is that it increases ones risk for developing Eternal Restart Syndrome. In the beginning chapters, the discovery writer has thousands of options and can take the work in just about any direction. This is great, but by at least the halfway point, that freedom starts to disappear as more and more promises are made to the reader.

The experienced discovery writer can tell you how to handle this, and Brandon Sanderson can teach the discovery writer how to outline, or possibly just gain a renewed interest in salt depending.

The inexperienced discovery writer can tell you, however, that they really just deal with this loss of freedom by writing themselves into a dead end, and then just throwing something off back into the story to try and regain that freedom. Which is quite effective as well. For example if you were writing a historical novel set in 1732 and all of your characters fell into a well, you might escape this situation by writing "It then rained gorillas from the sky, and they began eating people, until everyone in the entire world was dead. Luckily, Sherlock Holmes survived."  This will not work as well if you plan on publishing this, or want a remotely cohesive story, but otherwise works perfectly, and is recommended by Wikipedia.

If you do not feel that you have enough experience to write a story about Sherlock Holmes you might try using a buzz word like "assassination," "butlery," "monk" "dying" or "puppy" to regain interest, even if your story isn't about any of those things this is still possible if you write a sentence like "The situation was dire, but at least Mary's puppy hadn't been assassinated." or "Sally loved baking cakes even more than monks love not dying or having to resort to butlery."

If anyone has other suggestions for managing discovery writing. Feel free to write them in the comments.

The Eternal Restart

The counter disease to World Builder's Disease is.....No wait, that's not right....

If you were to visit certain tribes in Africa, hidden from the rest of the world, you will discover that while most tribe members are illiterate their memory capacity far exceeds our own. Some can relate their tribes entire history, all the cultures, all the stories dating back decades...this begs the question...is this why some four year olds are fantastic at the game concentration?...Wait...this is clearly going in the wrong direction.

It all started with an ostrich. A simple ostrich. A social pariah. Ostracized from his own kind due to a love of french fries uncommon among the species.......No that's not quite the right beginning to this post either.

One of the hardest things about writing for some is getting past the beginning. This problem is different than World Builder's disease because those afflicted with the eternal restart at least get started, but it is still a major issue, because while they may restart their novels a thousand times trying to achieve first chapter perfection, their work isn't going to get finished anymore than the World Builder's ever will. The obvious solution to this is to just not ever restart. Unfortunately this is easier said than done....One more time.

Eternally restarting is a definite problem because those who eternally restart not only are trying to achieve the perfect vision that exists in their heads, they are also setting their entire novel around the beginning. When the beginning changes, so does the entire framework of the novel. A good beginning means a good novel, a bad beginning means a bad novel, or novella, or whatever you happen to be writing...For example this beginning was bad.....


Even though the Eternal Restart may seem like a daunting problem there is really only one solution.....


First there was darkness.....


It was a dark and....

Once upon a......


Oh nevermind, I'll come back to this post later.

World Builder's Disease

For those who don't know, world builders disease is a writer affliction where the writer is so caught up with the world and setting building of their novel that they never actually write the novel. For those who do know, I'm sorry the first sentence was a waste of your valuable lifetime. My brother is the foremost expert on world builders disease. He would write the book on it, if he wasn't still busy trying to hammer out the details about the setting, and the culture and history. More famous people with the affliction, in case you don't know my brother despite his best attempts and that certain Rolling Stone incident, are J.R.R Tolkien. He spent pretty much his entire life developing Middle Earth, and while The Lord of the Rings certainly benefited a lot from this, it also meant that we got way less output from him than many die hards would have liked.

This is a big problem. If I had overcome world builder's disease myself I would probably have a great deal of input on this that would be really beneficial to all of your lives.  Unfortunately I have the opposite of world builders disease. I shoot my world building questions with a machine gun until they die too fast to react properly and then I move on. If any question happens to survive the onslaught at the very beginning, I answer it with a Random is Best policy. I imagine that the older wiser version of myself will have a collection of ink blots, and a shelf covered in glass jars filled with various categories of nouns. Then if I wonder "What is the most popular pet in the country" I can just pick up the Animal jar and answer the question in less than a second. This is probably why I will only truly be equipped to write humor. No serious self respecting author could tell their readers that the national pet is a squid which the people of the nation will feed anything but spaghetti for fear of promoting cannibalism.  In the meantime, since I do not currently have jars or inkblots I use generators found at Seventh Sanctum, and Serendipity (Reference Google for further information). These are also immensely useful when it comes to naming things, which is something I'm not very good at because I have the tendency to think that everything in the world would be slightly better if it was named either Stymie, or Faunterloy.  While this is probably true, it would also probably be slightly confusing if it were taken into complete practice.  If you happen to suffer from world builders disease you might want to consider using some of these methods. They could help you. Or be completely useless.  But sometimes the best things you can do in life are completely useless and can even somehow lead to finding your soulmate according to Match.com.

Other possible solutions could be to imagine that your entire world is a blank page. Unfortunately this is also called Writer's Block, which is frowned upon in most literary circles because it apparently isn't conducive to literature. Or you could possibly just give up, and put your information to use by starting a new country. Giving up is also frowned upon, especially by motivational speakers, but I've spoken to several quitters who swear by it, and several revolutionaries who actually think this is a really great plan. You can find supporters for anything if you try. It's not even hard if you have Facebook. The only other option I can think about is to forget about the world and try to focus on only the characters of your potential novel, only pick 3 to start with and work from there, or you could go to writingexcuses.com and look up actual legitimate solutions from legitimate authors.

Outlining

I. Introduction
         A. Some authors outline everything extensively until every single scene is completely mapped out.
                          1. For example: Brandon Sanderson.
         B. This is the opposite of Discovery Writing, where no outline is used at all.
                          1. Discovery writing will be addressed in a different post.
                          2. Some writers use either method exclusively. Others often use a mix.
II. The Pros of Outlining
         A. Outliners generally have an easier time getting to the end of their books.
         B. It saves time. Discovery writing generally takes much longer.
         C. It makes foreshadowing possible in the first draft.
         D. It allows authors to solve problems with the plot before they've started writing.
         E. Outliners generally have to write less drafts.
III. The Cons of Outlining
        A. Some writers lose excitement for a work when they know exactly what's happening.
        B. The writing sometimes comes off more forced, and less organic.
        C. The book can turn out bad if the outline controls and forces the direction of the characters and not   the other way around.
        D. Writing outlines aren't very fun. There is a lot of shifting, and a lot of time spent trying to get margins and letters to cooperate.
        E. Outliners might develop world builders disease, and spend so much time outlining that they never actually write the book, or blog post that they have planned.
IV. Solutions for Outliners who want to become discovery writers.
        A. Don't do anything like this post.
        B. Try not outlining the plot at all. Just outline the characters, and go from there.
        C. Throw away your planner. This probably won't help you, but there are some garbage men who suffer from a deficiency in good reading material, who would really appreciate this.
V. Conclusion
       A. Epic outliners are epic.
       B. Nothing ventured, nothing purchased for insanely low prices at garage sales.